A major “how” trap@home – parenting

The last time I talked about two articles in a Sunday New York Times, it included a picture of a woman in a bikini.  Not this time.  This subject has to do with parenting and what style makes the most sense.  Mostly.

The article Let the Kid Be was especially interesting to me because I am the parent of an eight year-old and I find myself asking a lot of the same questions posed in the article – should I be a “helicoptering” parent who oversees every instant of their development with a “get-them-into-Harvard-or-bust” approach, or a let them figure it out, leave ’em be, the more decisions they have to make, the sooner they will be able to make smart decisions for themselves, type of parent.

So this boils down to “how” we should parent our children, and since everything I focus on is outcomes (in this case it would be what kind of grownups and parents do we want our children to be), I was a little disappointed that topic wasn’t addressed more in this piece.  I think my parents were raised to do what they were told and never question authority.  That’s fine for a lot of roles and careers, but that’s not a great way to raise out-of-the-box thinkers who still stick to the important rules, but look at things with a much more creative perspective.

Which is why I was so pleased to then see an interview in the business section with Dany Levy In Praise of All That Grunt Work which I thought was really smart. In one section, the interviewer asks what Dany looks for when hiring a person and her answer was “What I call the figure-it-the-hell-out gene.You know, it’s like Occam’s Razor – the simplest answer is usually the best, and don’t overcomplicate things. It’s that kind of mentality that I look for.  . . I also like people who have a little bit of an off-sense; they are often more creative and can come up with the unexpected.”

When I think about the kind of person I want my son George to grow up to be.  I think the “helicoptering” style of parenting kills that “figure-it-the-hell-out” ability that we need so desperately right now in so many areas.  I also think we need to be clearer about the outcomes we are hoping to get to in these messes, and when we combine clear goals with “figure-it-the-hell-out” well then I think we are on to something.

-Ric